Wow, everything is going crazy round and round. I have been across the state working, been to California working and will soon go to Florida working. I had three adoptions last week and two of my kiddos met their forever families...it made my heart warm. I also started reading the Purpose Driven Life again. This is something I need to do. Today's chapter talks about how this life is not all there is. And honestly this is exactly what I needed to read. With everything going on with my MawMaw, it helps to realize that one day, maybe soon, she will live for eternity with my PawPaw...oh I can see them now. "In Heaven we will be reunited with loved ones who are believers, released from all pain and suffering, rewarded for our faithfulness on earth and reassigned to do work that we will enjoy doing." One thing that I have long realized is that sometimes you are judged for not going to a certain church or saying bless this day and quoting scripture. What upsets me is that just because I do not go to church everyday or in a while, that does not make me any less of a person than some that do. I have also noticed that those who say those things or judge you are hypocrits; they like their material possessions, they lie, they treat people terribly (but then put on a very sweet little front) and worse of all they judge you. I upsets me very much, but I am working on not saying anything to these individuals...my faith in God is very strong and I have Jesus in my heart...really that is all that matters.
So since I am working really hard to get my life back on track and improve my life...I feel strongly that it is time to let those go who try to bring you down. I struggle so much to find my purpose in life and I am peeling back the layers, maybe a little slower than others, but I am working on this. I will get back into the habit of reading Purpose Driven Life and my bible each night before bed. And I will blog about one happy moment each day, yes this could be chore, but I think it is necessary to be happy.
Also recently I started the HCG back up...I'm talking yesterday :) My kit came in the mail and the prescription arrived from Canada. I did all the mixing and the first two injections have not been bad at all. I am very committed to this and other things that I enjoy are going to have to take a back buring while I focus on my health. Of course the first two days are load days and let me tell you I feel like I have eaten the worse food of my life!!! I have joined a support group and they have been very positive, supportive and motivating. I have the best people in my life to help keep me motivated and just provide that support and love. I am very fortunate. The closest friends I have, have been in my life for 11 plus years now and they have always been my biggest cheerleaders and I love them dearly for this. I truly feel like with their support, the support group and sheer determination, this round is going to be life changing. Here's sure hoping. I am going to try to do the 40 day round which would put my last dose on August 26 and then I would start phase 3 on August 29. That will be the hardest part...I have said my goodbye's to my favorite things but I will be introduced to them in 45 days...45 days out of the rest of my life is not to much to ask.
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